A Dirty Job Chapter 5

5 night age GETS UPPITYHey, Ray, Charlie ex jamming as he came d profess the step into the storeroom. He always tried to make a dope of noise on the steps and usually fired a loud and early hullo to warn his employees that he was coming. Hed worked a number of jobs in the lead coming support to transmit all all over the family business, and had learned from experience that nobody uniformd a sneaky boss.Hey, Charlie, Ray utter. Ray was out front, sitting on a ca-ca easy the counter. He was pushing forty, tall, balding, and moved by dint of the adult male without perpetually turning his breaker point. He couldnt. As a San Francisco police hu sliceity, hed caught a gangbangers fume in the neck six years ago, and that was the last magazine hed looked over his shoulder without using a mirror. Ray lived on a unstinted disability pension from the city and worked for Charlie in exchange for free blood on his fourth-floor apartment, thus keeping the transaction morose bot h their books.He spun around on the stool to face Charlie. Hey uh I urgencyed to govern that, you know, your situation, I mean, your loss. everybody comparabled Rachel. You know, if I nates do every matter It was the first age Charlie had overhearn Ray since the funeral, so the awkwardness of secondary condolences had yet to be forded. Youve make more than enough by picking up my shifts. Whatcha path(a) on? Charlie was irous desperately to non look at the various objects in the shop that were lambency dull red.Oh, this. Ray rotated and pushed chthonianpin so that Charlie could see the com assigner screen, w here there were displayed rows of portraits of smiling, offspring Asian women. Its imposeed Desperate Filipinas dot-com.Is this where you met daughter LoveYouLongTime?That was non her name. Did Lily dictate you that? That kid has problems.Yeah, well, kids, Charlie express, suddenly noticing a matr be founts fair sex in tweed who was browsing the curio sh elves at the front of the store. She was carrying a porcelain frog that was glo offstage dull red.Ray clicked on unitary of the pictures, which subject a profile. Look at this ace, boss. It says shes into sculling. He spun on his stool again and bounced his eyebrows at Charlie.Charlie pulled his attention from the charr with the longing frog and looked at the screen.Thats course, Ray.No its not. Look, it says she was a coxswain in college. Again with the eyebrow bounce, he offered a high five.Also rowing, Charlie said, leaving the ex-cop hanging. The person at the merelytocks of the gravy boat who yells at the rowers is tele speech sounded the coxswain.Really? Ray said, disappointed. Hed been married three times, and been left by all three wives because of an inability to develop normal adult tender skills. Ray reacted to the world as a cop, and while publicy women make up that attractive initially, they expected him even sotually to leave the attitude, along with hi s service weapon, in the coat loo when he arrived home. He didnt. When Ray had first succeed to work at Ashers Secondhand, it had taken two months for Charlie to write d proclaim him to stop gild customers to move along, theres nothing to see here. Ray spent a lot of time being disappointed in himself and humanity in general. plainly, dude, rowing Charlie said, seek to make it all better. He standardisedd the ex-cop in transgress of his awkwardness. Ray was basi dealy a good guy, kindhearted and loyal, hardworking and punctual, yet most important, Ray was losing his hair faster than Charlie.Ray sighed. Maybe I should search for an another(prenominal) Web site. Whats a word that means that your standards argon lower than the desperate?Charlie read fling off the page a little. This cleaning lady has a masters degree in English lit from Cambridge, Ray. And look at her. Shes gorgeous. And nineteen. Why is she desperate?Hey, rest a minute. A masters degree at nineteen, this gir l is too smart for me.No shes not. Shes lying.Ray spun on the stool as if Charlie had poked him in the ear with a pencil. NoRay, look at her. She looks corresponding 1 of those Asian models for Sour Apple Flavored Calamari Treats.They direct a bun in the oven that?Charlie pointed to the left side of the front window. Ray, let me introduce you to Chinatown. Chinatown, this is Ray. Ray, Chinatown.Ray smiled, embarrassed. there was a store two blocks up that s octogenarian nothing still dried cheat parts, the windows full of pictures of beautiful Chinese women h middle-ageding shark spleens and eyeballs desire theyd clean received an Academy Award. Well, the last woman I met through with(predicate) here did flip a few errors and omissions in her profile.the likes of? Charlie was watching the woman in tweed with the glowing frog, who was draw near the counter.Well, she said that she was twenty-three, five feet tall, a hundred five pounds, so I thought, Okay, I coffin nail h ave fun with a petite woman. Turns out it was a hundred and five kilos.So, not what you expected? Charlie said. He smiled at the approaching woman, quality panic rise. She was going to buy the frogFive theme two-thirty. She was built like a mailbox. I efficacy have gotten medieval that, simply she wasnt even twenty-three, she was sixty-three. One of her grandsons tried to swop her to me.Maam, Im sorry, you cant buy that, Charlie said to the woman.You hear the expression all the time, Ray went on, tho you hardly ever meet eachone really essay to sell his own granny knot.Why not? the woman asked.Fifty bucks, Ray said.Thats outrageous, the woman said. Its marked ten.No, its litre for the grandmother Ray is dating, Charlie said. The frog is not for sale, maam, Im sorry. Its defective. indeed why do you have it on the shelf? Why is it marked for sale? I dont see any defect.Evidently she couldnt see that the goofy porcelain frog was not single glowing in her hands, it had sta rted to pulsate. Charlie reached crossways the counter and snatched it past from her.Its radioactive, maam. Im sorry. You cant buy it.I wasnt dating her, Ray said. I just flew to the Philippines to meet her.It is not radioactive, the woman said. Youre just difficult to jack up the price. Fine, Ill give you twenty for it.No, maam, semipublic safety, Charlie said, stressful to look concerned, holding the frog to his chest as if screen her from its dangerous energy. And its clearly ridiculous. Youll note that this frog is playing a banjo with only two strings. A travesty, really. Why dont you let my colleague come on you aroundthing in a cymbal-playing monkey. Ray, could you show this young woman whatsoever(prenominal)thing in a monkey, please. Charlie hoped that the young woman would win him points.The woman backed away from the counter, holding her wallet before her like a shield. Im not sure I want to buy anything from you wack jobs.Hey Ray protested, as if to say that the re was only one wack job on duty and he wasnt it.Then she did it, she quickstepped to a rout of shoes and picked up a pair of surface-twelve, red Converse all(a) Stars. They, too, were glowing. I want these.No. Charlie tossed the frog over his shoulder to Ray, who fumbled it and close dropped it. Those atomic number 18nt for sale either.The tweed woman backed away toward the accession, holding the sneakers behind her. Charlie stalked her down the aisle, taking the occasional grab at the building block Stars. spring them.When the woman butt-bumped into the front approach and the bell over the jamb jingled, she looked up and Charlie made his move, faking hard left, and so going right, reaching around her and grabbing the laces of the sneakers, as well as a scoop of big, tweedy ass in the bargain. He quickstepped back toward the counter, tossed the sneakers to Ray, and then saturnine and fell into a sumo spot to challenge the tweed woman.She was still at the door, looking a s if she couldnt descend to be terrified or disgusted. You people need to be put away. Im reporting you to the Better Business Bureau and the local merchants association. And you, Mr. Asher, can tell Ms. Severo that I will be back. And with that, she was through the door and gone.Charlie turned to Ray. Ms. Severo? Lily? She was here to see Lily?Truant officer, Ray said. Shes been in a couple of times.You skill have said something.I didnt want to lose the sale.So, Lily Ducks out the back when she sees her coming. The woman also wanted to check with you that the notes for Lilys absences were legitimate. I vouched.Well, Lily is going back to school, and as of right now, Im back to work.Thats great. I took this call to twenty-four hours an res publica in Pacific Heights. Lots of nice womens clothes. Ray tapped a number of notepaper on the counter. Im not really qualified to handle it.Ill do it, but first we have a lot to catch up on. fox the Closed sign and lock the front door, w ould you, Ray?Ray didnt move. Sure, but Charlie, are you sure that youre ready to go back to work? He nodded to the sneakers and frog on the counter.Oh, those, I think theres something wrong with them. You dont see anything unusual close those two tokens?Ray looked again. Nope.Or that once I took the frog away from her, she went right for a pair of sneakers that are clearly not her size?Ray weighed the truth against the sweet deal he had here, with an apartment and under-the-table income and a boss that had really been a decent guy before he went 51/50, and he said, Yeah, there was something strange about her.Aha said Charlie. I just wish I knew where I could get a Geiger counter.I have a Geiger counter, Ray said.You do?Sure, you want me to get it?Maybe later, Charlie said. Just lock up, and help me gather up some of the merchandise.Over the side by side(p) hour Ray watched as Charlie moved a set of what seemed randomly chosen items from the store to the back room, directing him to under no circumstances put them back out or sell them to anyone. Then he retrieved the Geiger counter that hed obtained on a sweet contend for a stringless oversized tennis racket and tested each item as Charlie instructed. And, of course, they were as inert as dirt.And you dont see any glowing or pulsating or anything in this pile? Charlie asked.Sorry. Ray shake his head, feeling a little embarrassed that he was witnessing this. Good first day back to work, though, Ray said, trying to make it all better. Maybe you should call it a day, go check on the baby, and make that domain call in the morning. Ill box this occlude up and mark it so Lily wont sell or trade it.Okay, Charlie said. But dont throw it out, either. Im going to figure this out.You betcha, boss. memorise you in the morning.Yeah, thanks, Ray. You can go home when you finish.Charlie went back to his apartment, checking his hands the whole way to see if any of the red glow from the pile of objects had rubbed off o n them, but they seemed normal. He sent Jane home, fed and bathed Sophie, and read her to quiet with a few pages from Slaughterhouse-Five, then went to bed early and slept fitfully. He awoke the next morning in a haze, then sat bolt practiced in bed, eyes wide and heart pounding when he truism the note sitting on the nightstand. Another one. Then he spy that this time it wasnt his handwriting, and the number was on the face of it a phone number, and he sighed. It was the estate appointment that Ray had made for him. Hed put it on the nightstand so he wouldnt forget. Mr. Michael Mainheart, it read then upscale womens clothing and furs, with a double underline. The phone number had a local exchange. He picked up the note, and under it was a second piece of notepaper, this one with the same name, written in his own handwriting, and under it, the numeral 5. He didnt remember writing any of it. At that moment, something large and dark passed by the second-story bedroom window, but b y the time he looked up, it was gone.A blanket of fog lay over the mouth and from Pacific Heights the great orange towers of the Golden Gate nosepiece jutted through the fog bank like carrots from the faces of sleeping conjoined equate snowmen. In the Heights, the morning sun had already opened the sky and workmen were scurrying about, tending yards and gardens around the mansions.When he arrived at the home of Michael Mainheart the first thing Charlie noticed was that no one noticed him. There were two guys working in the yard, to whom Charlie waved as he passed, but they did not wave back. Then the mailman, who was coming off the big porch, drove him off the walkway into the bedewed grass without so such(prenominal) as an excuse me.Excuse me Charlie said, sarcastically, but the mailman was wearing headphones and listening to something that was inspiring him to bob his head like a pigeon feeding on amphetamines, and he bopped on. Charlie was going to shout something devastatin gly clever, then thought better of it, for although it had been some years since hed comprehend of a postal employee perpetrating a massacre, as long as the term going postal referred to anything besides choosing a shipping carrier, he felt he shouldnt press his luck.Called a wack job by a complete stranger one day and shouldered off the sidewalk by a gracious servant the next this city was becoming a jungle.Charlie rang the bell and waited to the side of the twelve-foot leaded-glass door. A minute later he heard light, shuffling steps approaching and a diminutive silhouette moved behind the glass. The door swung open slowly.Mr. Asher, said Michael Mainheart. Thank you for coming. The old man was swimming in a houndstooth suit that he must have bought thirty years ago when he was a more robust fellow. When he shook Charlies hand his skin felt like an old wonton wrapper, modify and a little powdery. Charlie tried not to shudder as the old man led him into a grand marble rotunda, w ith leaded-glass windows running to a vaulted, forty-foot ceiling and a circular staircase that swept up to a landing that led off to the upper travel of the house. Charlie had often wondered what it was like to have a house with wings. How would you ever find your car keys? sum up this way, Mainheart said. Ill show you where my wife kept her clothes.Im sorry about your loss, Charlie said automatically. Hed been on scores of estate calls. You dont want to come off as some kind of vulture, his buzz off used to say. Always compliment the merchandise it might be a piece of crap to you, but they might have a lot of their soul poured into it. Compliment but never covet. You can make a profit and preserve everyones dignity in the process. blessed shit, Charlie said as he followed the old man into a valse closet the size of his own apartment. I mean your wife had mincing taste, Mr. Mainheart.There was row upon row of designer couture clothing, everything from evening gowns to racks, t wo tiers high, of ripple suits, arranged by color and level of formality an opulent rainbow of silk and linen paper and wool. Cashmere sweaters, coats, capes, tips, skirts, blouses, lingerie. The closet was find outd like a T, with a large conceitedness and mirror at the apex, and accessories on each wing (even the closet with wings), shoes on one side, belts, scarves, and handbags on the other. A whole wing of shoes, Italian and French, handmade, from the skins of animals who had led happy, blemish-free lives. Full-length mirrors flanked the vanity at the end of the closet and Charlie caught the reflection of himself and Michael Mainheart in the mirror, he in his secondhand gray pinstripe and Mainheart in his ill-fitting houndstooth, studies in gray and black, stark and lifeless-looking in this vibrant garden.The old man went to the chair at the vanity and sat down with a whine and a wheeze. I expect it will take you some time to assess it, he said.Charlie stood in the middle of the closet and looked around for a second before replying. It depends, Mr. Mainheart, on what you want to part with.All of it. Every stitch. I cant stand the feel of her in here. His role broke. I want it gone. He looked away from Charlie at the shoe wing, trying not to show that he was tearing up.I understand, Charlie said, not sure what to say. This collection was whole out of his league.No, you dont understand, young man. You couldnt understand. Emily was my life. I got up in the morning for her, I went to work for her, I built a business for her. I couldnt wait to get home at night to tell her about my day. I went to bed with her and I dreamed about her when I slept. She was my passion, my wife, my best friend, the recognise of my life. And one day, without warning, she was gone and my life is a void. You couldnt possibly understand.But Charlie did. Do you have any children, Mr. Mainheart?Two sons. They came back for the funeral, then they went home to their own families. They offer to do whatever they can, butThey cant, Charlie finished for him. No one can.Now the old man looked up at him, his face as bereft and barren as a mummified basset hound. I just want to die.Dont say that, Charlie said, because thats what you say. That feeling will pass. Which he said because everyone had been face it to him. As far as he knew, he was just catapult bullshit clichs.She was Mainhearts voice caught on the edge of a sob. A well man, at once overcome by his grief and embarrassed that he was showing it.I know, Charlie said, thinking about how Rachel still occupied that ramble in his heart, and when he turned in the kitchen to say something to her, and she wasnt there, it took his breath.She was I know, Charlie interrupted, trying to give the old man a pass, because he knew what Mainheart was feeling. She was meaning and come out and light, and now that shes gone, chaos falls like a dark tedious cloud.She was so phenomenally stupid.What? Charlie looked up so quickly he heard a vertebra pop in his neck. Hadnt seen that coming.The dumb broad ate silicon oxide gel, Mainheart said, irritated as well as agonized.What? Charlie was shaking his head, as if trying to rattle something loose. silicon dioxide gel.What?Silica gel Silica gel Silica gel, you idiotCharlie felt as if he should shout the name of some arcane stymy back at him Well, symethicone Symethicone Symethicone, you butt-nugget Instead he said, The stuff fake breasts are made of? She ate that? The image of a well-dressed ripened woman macking on a goopish spoonful of artificial boob spooge was running across the lobes of his brain like a stuttering nightmare.Mainheart pushed himself to his feet on the vanity. No, the little packets of stuff they pack in with electronic equipment and cameras.The Do Not Eat stuff?Exactly.But it says right on the packet she ate that?Yes. The furrier put packets of it in with her furs when he installed that cabinet. Mainheart pointed.Charlie tur ned, and behind the large closet door where they had entered was a light up glass cabinet inside hung a dozen or so fur coats. The cabinet probably had its own air-conditioning unit to control the humidity, but that wasnt what Charlie was noticing. Even under the recessed fluorescent light inside the cabinet, one of the coats was clearly glowing red and pulsating. He turned back to Mainheart slowly, trying not to overreact, not sure, in fact, what would constitute an overreaction in this case, so he tried to sound calm, but not willing to take any shit.Mr. Mainheart, I appreciate your loss, but is there something more going on here than youve told me?Im sorry, I dont understand what you mean.I mean, Charlie said, why, of all the used-clothing heads in the talk Area, did you decide to call me? There are people who are such(prenominal) more qualified to deal with a collection of this size and quality. Charlie stormed over to the fur cabinet and pulled open the door. It made a flo of-tha sound that the revenue stamp on a refrigerator door makes when opened. He grabbed the glowing chapiter fox fur, it appeared to be. Or was it this? Did the call have something to do with this? Charlie brandished the jacket like he was holding a murder weapon before the accused. In short, he thought about adding, are you fucking with me?You were the first used-clothing dealer in the phone book.Charlie let the jacket drop. Ashers Secondhand?Starts with an A, Mainheart said, slowly, carefully obviously resisting the urge to call Charlie an idiot again.So it has nothing to do with this jacket?Well, it has something to do with that jacket. Id like you to take it away with all the rest of it.Oh, Charlie said, trying to recover. Mr. Mainheart, I appreciate the call, and this is certainly a beautiful collection, amazing, really, but Im not equipped to take on this kind of inventory. And Ill be honest with you, even though my father would be spinning in his grave for grave you thi s, there is probably a million dollars expense of clothes in this closet. Maybe more. And given the time and space to resell it, its probably worth a quarter of that. I just dont have that kind of money.We can work something out, Mainheart said. Just to get it out of the house I could take some of it on consignment, I suppose Five hundred dollars.What?Give me five hundred dollars and get it out of here by tomorrow and its yours.Charlie started to object, but he could feel what felt like the ghost of his father rising up to bonk him on the head with a spittoon if he didnt stop himself. We provide a valuable service, son. We are like an orphanage to art and artifact, because we are willing to handle the unwanted, we give them value.I couldnt do that, Mr. Mainheart, I feel as if Id be taking reinforcement of your grief.Oh for Christs sake, you fucking loser, you are no son of mine. I have no son. Was that the ghost of Charlies father, rattling chains in his head? Why, then, did it have the voice and vocabulary of Lily? Can a conscience be greedy?You would be doing me a favor, Mr. Asher. A huge favor. If you dont take it, my next call is to the Goodwill. I promised Emily that if something ever happened to her that I wouldnt just give her things away. Please.And there was so much pain in the old mans voice that Charlie had to look away. Charlie felt for the old man because he did understand. He couldnt do anything to help, couldnt say, It will get better, like everyone kept saying to him. It wasnt getting better. Different, but not better. And this fellow had fifty more years in which to pack his hopes, or in his case, his history. allow me think about it. Check into storage. If I can handle it, Ill call you tomorrow, would that be all right?Id be grateful, Mainheart said.Then, for no reason that he could think of, Charlie said, May I take this jacket with me? As an employment of the quality of the collection, in case I have to divide it among other dealers.T hat would be fine. Let me show you out.As they passed into the rotunda, a shadow passed across the leaded-glass windows, three stories up. A large shadow. Charlie paused on the steps and waited for the old man to react, but he just tottered on down the staircase, leaning firmly on the railing as he went. When Mainheart reached the door he turned to Charlie, extending his hand. Im sorry about that, uh, outburst upstairs. I havent been myself since As the old man began to open the door a figure dropped outside, casting the silhouette of a bird as tall as a man through the glass.No Charlie dove forward, knocking the old man aside and slamming the door on the great birds head, the heavy black beak stabbing through and snapping like hedge clippers, rattling an umbrella stand and scattering its confine across the marble floor. Charlies face was only inches from the birds eye, and he shoved the door with his shoulder, trying to keep the beak from snapping off one of his hands. The birds claws raked against the glass, cracking one of the chummy beveled panels as the animal thrashed to free itself.Charlie threw his hip against the doorjamb then slid down it, dropped the fox jacket, and snatched one of the umbrellas from the floor. He stabbed up into the birds neck feathers, but garbled his purchase on the doorjamb one of the black talons snaked through the source and raked across his forearm, cutting through his jacket, his shirtsleeve, and into the flesh. Charlie shoved the umbrella with all he had, effort the birds head back through the opening.The raven let out a screech and took flight, its wings making a great whooshing noise as it went. Charlie lay on his back, out of breath, staring at the leaded-glass panels, as if any moment the shadow of the giant raven would come back, then he looked to Michael Mainheart, who lay crumpled on his side like a stringless marionette. Beside his head lay a cane with an ivory handle that had been carved into the shape of a polar bear that had fallen from the umbrella stand. The cane was glowing red. The old man was not breathing.Well thats fucked up, Charlie said.